Thought of the Week for week 15

Recently I have been by myself in thought and i was thinking of a couple of things that I thought I would share with you all.

One, I had a nice laid back Saturday evening with a buddy when we started talking about fictional characters. I thought how nice it would be to be a tv/movie character. Who would you be or who would you like to talk to? I myself have many characters in movies and tv that I would like to hang with but there is one that comes to mind. His name is Dr. Frasier Crane, yes the good old fashion radio therapist. Dr. Crane is a genuine character who looks for the best in people and in life. I would like to spend an evening with him getting drunk and have him analyze me. I mean drunk, a good old sh*tface night with him talking about the Bears, shots, and why Lilith is such a hot sexy b*tch. That would be awesome. Yes I know he is fictional but one of my friends believes he is real. His name is Bill.

Bill have you ever watched Cheers or Frasier? Come on man, he is a drunk therapist that hangs with drunk buddies at a bar and then moved to Seattle to hang with his metrosexual brother. I know tv reality is cool that is why i wanted to share that with you all. Next time think about that and ask your self the question: Who would I drink a beer with that's on TV/Movies?

Two, that same weekend i went to a nice dinner. Afterwards i had to use the bathroom while in there i let one go. Yes a gigantic fart that felt great to release. I don't think anybody was around in the stall or anything but who cares. I need to release one and boy did I. Afterward while I was washing my hands i thought you know what that was an expensive fart. Dinner, Drinks, Dessert, all that food was expensive and i just had an expensive fart. That was no chili fart, which is awesome in its own way but a good old fashion hundred dollar fart. You ever think about that? Well now you can.

Bears and Saints what a game. Finally a good game on Thursday night. Yes I will be there because I am on vacation and I am going to get ripped, drop a fart in the bathroom and go home and give Frasier Crane a call.

Godspeed! Manimal sign off!


Need more Bears coverage?
David Haugh's Trib column (Dec. 11)
Brad Biggs Blog (Sun-Times)
Bears Notes (Sun-Times)

Thought of the Week: 14

Well after drinking a case of beer on Sunday, I watched the Bears screw up a 1^st and goal on the three and then go for it on 4^th with a draw play at the strength of the Vikings Defense. Kick the field goal! Then next play, a former Bear, no name needed, catches a 99 yard touchdown pass. What a kick in the balls! That’s when I knew that the Bears night was over and my night was starting.

I remember everything about the game and bar and I was still talking in sentences when we left. But, in mine and “O” great foresight we thought another beer on the way home was the way to go. Well walking into a bar don’t remember the name, it is off Allisonville Road, we met a guy who was so drunk it made me even drunker than I already was if that’s possible. I decided to talk to this guy and realized that he could speak my drunk language at that point we decided to get serious about some subjects. You won’t even guess!

We talked about Missouri, Kansas, and the Old West. Yes the Old West, I am quite the historian when I am drunk and this guy thought he could top my knowledge. I was really getting him thinking about what happened back then and where we are now. I looked at “O” and in amazement “O” was losing it how I was just f*cking with this guy. Finally, “O” needed to leave before he pissed himself. But I just want to leave it this week as: “Jesse James was the Baddest A$$ outlaw ever!”

Ohh Yah, Bears if you lose to Jacksonville this week and I am going to dig up Jesse James and he is going to shoot everyone including Robbie Gould!

TOTW - Week 12

What happened last weekend? Did the Bears even want to play? Did Urlacher want to get his pretty white uniform dirty? Did Maynard not know how to kick the ball? Did the Bears Defense know that they were playing Defense? Did Orton want to throw the ball downfield? Did the receivers want to catch the ball? HELL NO!!!!!!

I am in the city during the week and all I hear is how the Packers need this game more than the Bears, Well you know what those early loses finally caught up to the Bears.

Come On!

Lovie quit being a tight little teenager and open up the “D”. Lets get some pressure on the quarterback. Lets not give him a minute to sit back and pick us apart and make the defense look like swiss cheese. Hey Ron Turner, “RUN THE BALL”, Green Bay Defense last week gives up over 150 to Adrian Peterson and we run the ball 18 times, yep that’s right 18 times. I drank more beers than we rushed the ball.

Come On! Next week if we don’t beat the Rams by 14 plus we are in a world of hurt moving on…….Breathe……….Breasts…ahhhhhhhhhh!

Six weeks to go...GUTCHECK TIME

The Bears deserved a good beating. Not only did they deserve a beating, it's amazing that they've avoided a beating like this season. I guess it was because the offense was scoring. Compound Orton's injury with an aging and cement-footed defense, it didn't matter who we were playing on the road in week 11, we were going to get trounced.  A 37-3 loss to the Packers hurts a lot, but let's face it the defense has nothing left.

After going toe-to-toe with Tennessee for 60 minutes and losing a home game, we should've pooled funds and bet the Pack and cashed in for a relaxing Sunday. Instead we got steamrolled by cheese.

So there's a lot to be worried about with six games left. If the Bears could with 4 of 6 then a 9-7 record may win the NFC North. It starts with a win over St. Louis.  Then a rematch with Minnesota on the carpet. That's also a must-win. Then a 3-game home stretch minus any cupcakes. 

I can see a lot happening. 7-9 looks likely with the way they played Sunday. Remind me why Urlacher is going to find the missing step and why he gets blocked every play. Also why no pass rush. No sacks, no hits on the qb, when is the last time we hurried a qb. Alex Brown, Dvoracek, Ogunleye, Harris, Idonije, Mark Anderson....do these guys even exist. I saw Mike Brown giving max effort and I saw Kevin Payne doing some things. But they only make plays because the other team is already 7 yards up field before they are touched or the Bears are chasing down a wide open receiver. 

Lovie's future

And I've been off the Lovie wagon for some time. But this loser has no answers. He has no plan. He stuck thinking this team can find lightning in a bottle based on something they did 2 years ago.  The leaks started in the Super Bowl (and remember the Tampa game 2 years ago) and continued last season with that nightmare.  I don't know what the answer is. I guess we grin and bear it. 

Regardless, you kids are on your own. I'm headed to the Caribbean for a few days. I'll miss the Rams game and when I get back we better be 6-5 for Christ's sake.

Sunday's showing

I'd like to say kudos to all you crazy kids for coming out. That was an impressive showing of Bears fans. Bw-3 Castleton is a Bears bar. I beg you all to keep the faith and regardless show up for Sunday boozing. We started this thing kinda half-ass in 2002 and now we are blowing up!! 

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK

A new weekly feature on ComingRightAtYa.com -- our boy Manimal inspires us with a thought that will get you through the work week and get you ready for Sunday madness.

Week 11 thought:

I was thinking about Joe and how bad he feels for getting in a bar fight at 30. Well, let me tell you something. What about being 30 and looking at your computer screen all day, two days after you drank way too much? Hitting buttons on a computer like a monkey, not comprehending, and looking at stuff you shouldn’t be looking at work. Your boss comes in to talk and you look at him, can’t recognize him, and can’t even muster up a story of why you feel bad. You just look at him say I am a loser with jeans on that you wore on Sunday that has mustard and ketchup stains. I am melancholy due to the fact that even in the evening that night I still was apologizing about not being right. Even today being Wednesday my body especially my A$$ is still trying to recovery from whatever the hell happened to me this weekend. So Joe don’t feel bad because you won the fight and got prize money feel bad for me……….and my Bears because we have a long road ahead of us to make a run for the division and playoffs. And, one more thing don’t ever tailgate next to people drinking Hennessy!

Godspeed,
Manimal

It's October, let the choking begin

I always start October, or fall in general, with a mucus riddled throat. Sometimes spitting out balls of mucus goo. As a non-smoker it disturbs me. I usually hit it with some mucinex and claritan. I don't why it always happens, it just does. I think I've figured it out.

It's because I'm a Cubs fan.

The calendar turns to October and my gag reflex kicks in. And my baseball team follows suit.

The gagging, the choking, the pressure, the all out terribleness of it all. This my friends is a disgrace. An utter failure. A comedy of errors, literally in game 2. A walking disaster like game 1. Who knows what game 3 will bring? It will happen at 10 p.m. on Saturday. The Cubs will likely leave October without much of a whimper. They will flail at pitches on the corner, chase balls into the gap and probably now make the baserunning mistakes they haven't made because well they haven't had any in 18 innings of choking baseball.

I won't mention any of the Cubs by name, because this collection of frauds are on their way to becoming just like the losers that came before them. This one as collossal as the 1984 failure. 97 wins. Down the drain. Giving us as much hope as they ever had. Gone in excruciating high definition pictures that will last me a lifetime.

I put a lot into a Cubs season. It will be worth it someday. Probably when I'm 73 and I have no one to share it with. Baseball will have contracted to 16 teams, because people care more about soccer, American Idol and dance competitions. The Tampa Rays will have 7 banners, but because they only have 70 season ticket holders, they'll relocate to Puerto Rico.

Look it hurts. More than you know. There is no next year to me. I'm suffering now. People that love me are suffering. There's nothing I can do about it. It's in my brain to stay. There's no going back. At this point, I will see this Cub thing through.

This one hurts more than ever though. It's not even over yet, but I know it is. I think. Ah that Cubbie optimism. I'll keep waiting.

Is it November yet?

The time is now...

It's here finally. We've waited for this. It's been a grueling season. I want to write a tearful piece, but will instead to refer you to Al's piece today at Bleed Cubbie Blue. He says it right. There is a hole in my life and I know it's in yours too (if you are a Cubs fan). And when we win it will be spectacular. (Normally never use we when I say a sports team, but the Cubs are the only team I allow myself to do that with).

So let's cut the music and get right to the predictions:

American League
Angels over Red Sox in 4: Too many health issues for Sox.
Rays over White Sox in 5: Young Rays have just enough to be weary, aging Sox.
ALCS: Angels over Rays in 5: No way Tampa is ready.

National League
Phillies over Brewers in 4: Brewers can't get to CC in game 5
Cubs over Dodgers in 3: Sweep.
NLCS: Cubs over Phillies in 6: Game 6 in Wrigley and we roll on. Lilly comes up big for us.

World Series
Cubs over Angels in 5: The World Series always gets over quick these days. The Cubs will have momentum and shock the world. Believe.

See you tonight!

My ulcer hurts...can we win by 10 once?

How bout them Bears. Big victory over the Eagles, now we must roll up to the "D" and roll a bad team. Are the Bears capable of rolling anyone?

Tough to answer. I'd like to think if we played defense all the time like that goalline stand that maybe this team has a shot. Maybe Orton can play QB in this league. Oops turnover, maybe he'll always be learning on the job. This is a real shot for the Bears to make a statement to the NFC that they're going to hang around all year. At 2-2 and tied with the Pack, it's all in front of the Bears.

Chicago has a chance to go to 5-2 before the bye week by beating Detroit and Atlanta on the road, then getting Gus Frerotte and the Viqueens. But know this, don't count on anything with the Bears. They owe the Lions from last year, so they have to get this win in the books before I'm ready to seriously talk about anything ahead. Win this game without a scare and we'll talk.

I really think the Bears may win or lose every game by a field goal this year. But put together back to back wins and I'll forget those two collapses (until they haunt us in Week 17).

Time to put the money where the mouth is. I've looked at this team for 4 weeks and look I don't see us going to the Super Bowl. I don't even want to talk playoffs right now. The Bears are a wildly inconsistent team that could go 11-5 or 6-10. But know this: they're a fun team to watch. They make me mad. They give me heartburn. They make me ecstatic. They make me do stupid things. And that's all I want. And they are capable of doing good things this season. Great, well we'll see about that.

Bears 33, Lions 16

See you Sunday!

Chicago Bears: 53 Minutes of Hell

Too bad for the Bears that NFL games take 60 minutes to complete. Lots of blame to go around for this one. Let's take a look at some of the suspects.

1. Charles Tillman - Great game by Peanut until his boneheaded piling on/punching of a Buc, while most of the Bears defense was walking off the field after finally stopping the Bucs 3 and out on their own 8. 10 plays later of Brian Griese filleting the Bears defense and the field goal is good and I regret eating the shrimp at BW-3.

2. Rashied Davis - On 3rd and 7 in Overtime, Davis absolutely fans on a perfect pass from Neckbeard. The play probably sets CHI up inside the Bucs 35 and Robbie Gould probably doesn't miss twice in one game.

3. Robbie Gould - Robbie you are a fine kicker. But let's be honest, the Bears don't pay you 15 million dollars over 6 years to miss FGs on days when hardly any wind blows off the lake. Granted the defense turns the Bucs over 4 plays later and Orton hit Lloyd for a TD, but it could've been 27-14 and OT never happens. Our offense looks like a 5-year old on training wheels at times, your leg must be perfect.

4. Kyle Orton - What the fuck were you doing in the 2nd quarter on the tight end screen pass. Very RexChadMosesCadeKordellHenryChrisJonathonCraig-like. We'll go 5-11 if you keep making plays like that. Better 2nd half for sure.

5. Ron Turner - Lose the fucking TE screen. Forever. You've done enough to lose your job, but please lose that play. I know you'll make Brandon Lloyd a pro-bowler. Right. And Felix Pie is the NL ROY.

6. Lovie Smith - Get your players in better shape. Fine Charles Tillman. Yell at somebody. Say the word "FUCK". One time. Try it. It's a great word. After you say it go try it with your wife. But seriously, go fuck yourself Lovie. A rookie head coach is running the Wildcat and scoring touchdowns with ease against a team 9 months removed from 18-0. What have you done to change things? Have you had any other rational coaching thought other than putting a bandaid on a bleeding and aging defense? You cut Ricky Manning Jr and Chris Harris (last year) b/c they don't run your system well. Well this system sucks and I wake up some nights missing Ron Rivera. Please come back Ron. I would never think about Lovie Smith again in my life if he left. Never.

7. Jerry Angelo - Unless you have 3 A+ drafts in a row, this team goes 3-13 in 3 years. Show yourself the door. Please. Mission Abort.

All of the above adds up to a stinking loss. I still smell it. I have no idea how they regroup. Stopping all the penalties could help. Seeing Brian Westbrook in street clothes will help. But I've seen this same Bears defense make second stringers look like hall of famers. Philly comes in a little banged up off of two physical games. Maybe there is a little magic in the Bears.

I know this. I'll soldier out again to BW-3 and probably order the tenders, shrimp and wedges and watch Mark tear up buckets of Corona. I'll be happy for a few quarters, but if the Bears have another third-term abortion and blow a double-digit lead, I will cut somebody's throat.

Bears chatter and yes still bitter

Ok so our Bears grasped defeat from the jaws of victory on Sunday. I say no worries about the loss.  If you want something to worry about, worry about how the fuck our offense would matchup against Philly or Dallas. Did you see that game on MNF. Wow!

But in the drunken haze, I saw Greg Olsen fumble twice and Jason McKie get the call on 4th and 1. That was the most ridiculous play call I've ever seen. It reminded me of Tecmo Super Bowl, when you pick the run play and the whole computer defense would swarm because they called the same play. And the 3rd and 1 pass was like Orton hit up and B, instead of up and A on the controller. You don't pass on 3rd and 1 there. Hurricane Orton, not so much. 

I will say this about Orton, he made some nice throws and he has better presence in the pocket than Sexy, but you gotta hit the deep ball. Stop overthrowing the deep receiver or throwing it 5 yards out of bounds. Get back on the dance floor if you have to. We need a 200-yard passer please. 

Commence operation Kill Griese!

Cubs: Your table is ready

Make your playoff reservations...because it's going to happen. That's right the magic number is dwindling.  Dare I say it be four after tonight. Prince Fielder promptly goes yard as I write this. Oh well! 

This is so awesome. The Cubs should be clinched up, possibly even home field if they take 4 out of 6 games from the Brewers and Cardinals at Wrigley this weekend.  

I like the rotation very mucho for the playoffs. Think of it in the NLCS. Zambrano and Dempster in games 1 and 2 at Wrigley. Lilly in a road game 3 and Harden waiting in the wings in game 4. If it goes 5, Big Z at home throwing dots.