Manimal is back with the Thought...Of..The...Week

Manimal! America! He's back with his first real, lucid thought of the week! WOOOoooo
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Bears!

Who would have thought after the first quarter of the season we would be in first place? I will break down the first 4 games based off my point of view.

Game 1: Better to be lucky than good! Bears dominated the game from the time of possession but not from points on the board. Lovie kick the damn field goal in the 4th to take the lead! Bears good! Lovie bad! Opening Day awesome!

Game 2: Thank goodness for Dallas ineptness (Good Word HAYO)! Bears were solid and what a win on the road! Don’t remember much of the game...22 oz. of wine and 22 oz. of crown/seven will get you. I do know that Romo makes O’s mom excited. Bears!

Game 3: Packers beat themselves but also the Bears missed some opportunities as well. Drop pass in end zone, Missed Field Goal, etc. Intense game makes for intense fans! Bears! Editor's note: ZOMBO!

Game 4: Block someone please! WTF! Tice and Martz run some screens and hot routes. Defense did play well which is a great sign. Offensive line needs something. Go sign some guys that want to block! Coaching lost that game.

Overall – Bears have impressed so far, need to focus on offensive line and pressure on QB. Coaching right now is the biggest question mark moving forward. Where are the adjustments in game and at half? Come on!

Manimal's Grades
Offense “C” - need to protect and need to run – bring back the ’85 line!

Defense “B+” – need to get pressure on the QB other than Peppers. Where is Tommy Harris? Get off the field on 3rd down!

Coaching “D” – can not write down what I am thinking here...

Special Teams “B” – kicking game is fair, return game is good and blocking game is good.

Last Word: Doesn’t Peppers looks like a Bear in real life?

Oh God! Cutler out, Collins named starter for week 5

A collective fan base screams. Just so you now have the list Fox here it is:

Bears starting QBs since Jim Harbaugh
Peter Tom Willis
Will Furrer
Erik Kramer
Steve Walsh
Dave Krieg
Rick Mirer
Steve Stenstrom
Moses Moreno
Shane Matthews
Cade McNown
Jim Miller
Chris Chandler
Henry Burris
Kordell Stewart
Jonathan Quinn
Craig Krenzel
Chad Hutchinson
Rex Grossman
Kyle Orton
Brian Griese
Jay Cutler
Todd Collins

Lovie: We're 3-1 after the 1st quarter of the season

Lovie's swearing up and down he's not holding players more accountable than he ever has (see ya Mark Anderson) and he is starting to answer questions by announcing the team's record. What's next? Jay is our quarterback even though he is now a paraplegic.

Despite some many issues with a offensive line, the Bears just may have something going demise might be imminent. A showdown on Monday night Sunday against 2-0 division rival Green Bay winless Carolina awaits. You may have to take Monday off from work for this one if Todd Collins is thrown to the wolves again. My, oh my how things can change in one week.

So Smith's mantra of "We're 3-1", it sure doesn't feel that way. Mike Martz is taking full responsibility along with Lovie and Jerry and that's great. But the blame goes around. Where is the progress after 4 games with this new offense? The pocket collapses quicker with each snap. The coaches are switching offensive lineman in and out making changes on the fly. This is what practice is for. It doesn't appear to be working.

Cutler looked concussed the whole second quarter, but before that he still holds on to the ball too long at times. The Martz offense is 7-step drops and throw, not waiting for the arm-showcase deep ball. Who are you Jay, Rex?

And to those of you that say run the ball more. If the line can't pass block, what makes you think they could run block. Martz in the end could be a terrible hire. Our franchise QB is in jeopardy if he keeps putting him in danger with his playcalling, especially behind this line. Figure it out Mike Tice!!!

Possibly though the team has done the need soul searching this week and can return to some semblance of an offense like in Dallas. They won't give up 10 sacks again. That's almost impossible. But Cutler will take his hits, but hopefully not the free shots that bounce his head off the turf. This Carolina team is awful and should present a limited attack without a passing game. Stop the run and create a few plays in special teams and with turnovers. Bears win the field position battle and win. Prediction: Bears 23, Carolina 16

Mullins out for season opener (Family Obligations)

All:

Because family matters more than football, I will be unable to attend this Sunday for the season opener at BW-3. I know I tricked you all with that Facebook invite. Ha!

My wife's crackpot of an aunt has planned a surprise 80th birthday party for Grandma Betty at 12:30 p.m. at some park God knows where in Lafayette.

Many things are wrong about this, I know. But Betty did provide us with a large sum of money in the card box at our wedding so I should show my appreciation for her 80 years. On the whole I don't have a problem with this except the 80th birthday isn't until the middle of December - THREE MONTHS AWAY. While I won't accuse the aunt of tempting fate, I will say she is a fucking shitty planner. I mean these people are Colts fans - mix in a schedule much.

So other than me being kidnapped Sunday morning about 6 a.m. or someone knocking off Candy (last name redacted) of Lafayette -- enjoy the game without me Sunday.

I'll be at a park. Outside. Somewhere in the middle of Lafayette. Fighting young children. Eating shitty macaroni salads and store-bought shitty cookies. Hating my life. Praying for a rain cloud that will get me close to a TV.

I Fail.

J. Mullins

Thought of the Week - Week 4

Bears win again. Our schedule gets pretty tough now.

I am going to go away from football and share a story about a certain athlete that you wouldn’t believe he is the way he is. Yes I am going to talk about Wade Boggs! Wade Boggs is a hall-famer baseball player who is one of the best hitters off all time. My buddy and his dad won a trip to Cooperstown thru Miller High Life. A High Life trip where they got to hang out with Wade Boggs and Gaylord Perry. That sounds awesome, well let me tell you that he said Wade Boggs partied from the time they got there thru out the weekend and until they left. He said Boggs was trying to get people to stay out with him every night until 3 in the morning and when he woke up he was ready to start that morning. What a guy!

Here are two short stories

During the Hall Fame walk thru, Boggs shows up with his own beer. While going over some baseball artifacts a bat from Babe Ruth, a ball signed by Cy Young and them pulling out Wade Boggs mitt, he puts his beer down next to them and grabs the mitt and starts asking them to throw the ball to him.

Then later that day he asks a little boy who is favorite player and why and trying to make this kid say his name. Gaylord walks over to the father and kid and says just say Boggs. He so drunk he wont remember the conversation anyway tomorrow.

Love Boggs. That is what a call a High Life Trip with a High Life Man.

BEARS

Thought of the Week - Week 3

I was still finishing up my vacation and I went to a wedding on Saturday night and I pounded beers all night. It was one of those nights that beer tasted really good until the Keg for the Budweiser and Miller Light ran out. They only had Michelob kegs left. Michelob is brutal but sh*t when its free why not. The wedding was a great time as well. The people were great, food was great, and the music was great. That night I crashed at O’s place and got even more jacked up when he showed up after the ND v. Purdue Game.

I woke up at 5 AM and didn’t have a clue where I was at. I thought I was at a hotel room and asked if me and O went out last night. That was a fricken hellarious! I panicked for a minute and then realized where I was at.

I didn’t make it to the game that day. I had to many cobwebs. O could fill you in on what we talked about that night. O was so drunk he thought my dog was his dog even though I have a Golder Retriever and he has a Chocolate Lab. What a good night and like I said a Win but it wasn’t easy. Lions next thank goodness that they one the week before.

Thought of the week - Week 2

What a game against the Steelers! We needed that one. That Sunday I was starting my vacation so I let one rip, another day of White Russians and shots of Jim Beam Black Label. Thanks Shelby for not winning your contest.

On Monday I felt awful but I went to breakfast to get something in my belly. I just want to leave you with this. White Gravy is delicious. Biscuits and Gravy are a perfect marriage. Hot buttermilk biscuits and white sausage gravy. Yummy! I ate that and fell back asleep until 5 PM. What a way to start a vacation.

One more thing I ate a chicken basket from DQ with white gravy for lunch and then I went back to sleep until 5 PM.

Bears going to win next week against a Hasselbeckless Seahawk Team.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK is back!!

Fresh from Manimal's brain...here was the opening thought of the week:

Well after a very disappointing lost on Sunday night, 5 White Russians, 4 Tall Boys, and 3 Crown Shots this guy was done for the night. Knowing I was going to have cobwebs all day on Monday I was ready. I made it to work and was pretty much done all day with life and the Bears. Urlacher lost for the season not good! Cutler looking like a typical Bear QB not good! Going home good! The couch is going to be awesome! I was looking forward to going home and enjoying a Monday night double header, but ……………. When I got home I forgot that someone was going to be dog sitting two hot dogs for the next couple of days with that someone not really going to be there to watch them either. This is where it gets interesting. If you ever want a dog do not buy a d*mn hot dog. I walk in and all they do is bark at me. They are the size of my foot and all I want to do is punt and kick them. I can’t catch them because they are so little and they can hide in the small areas. Then my dog wont leave me alone as well because he dislikes small dogs too. Finally around 7 PM the game starts and after me scaring them with my manimal yell they shut the F*ck up! but wait they decide to jump on and off the couch and on and off me including my 70 lbs dog as well because again he is jealous. What a Monday Night! Even better, being told they are house broken I am not chasing them around the house. When I find them there is piss on the carpet. Great!!!!!

Tuesday not much better I get home and they wont come by me even though I spent to whole day yesterday with them. I take them outside on their leash and that’s a blast. There little legs getting tangle every 5 seconds. I try and relax but the manimal is coming. I start dinner and every time I walk around they start barking at me. I walk in the dining room and bam piss and sh*t! That’s it I grab the one get him the crate. The second one is elusive and finally after chasing him for 20 minutes I grab him and get him in the crate. I look at my dog and he pisses. What a Tuesday Night!

Moral: Eat hot dogs they taste great!

Thought of the week - Final

Sunday Night after a terrible display of Defense, I decided to sit by myself and think about what really is going on with the Bears, First off, I can see the Bears letting go of Babich. Is it his fault? I am not sure but someone will shoulder the blame. Rumor has it that they will sign Maranelli, great another guy at the podium with nothing to say but stay the course. I am positive person as well but sometimes you need to kick someone in the teeth. So the season has ended but looking back at it this is what we have think about for next season. For my favorite Bear, here are 18 questions for next year.

1. The Bears were not picked even to come close to making the playoffs, but played better than expected. Will they make a run next year?
2. Hurricane Orton hit the city and we are excited. Is he the answer at QB?
3. Urlacher needs to strengthen his legs to get off blocks. Can he come back at a Pro Bowl level or is he going to just bang chicks?
4. Ogunleye who? Will he ever sack again or just sack White Castle?
5. 3^rd and long who cares throw the ball, sh*t! Can the secondary please find a WR to cover?
6. Can Lance Briggs play any harder?
7. Will the Coach run for office? He has my vote. He has my vote to come back to coaching.
8. Will BH wear his awful tie-dye shirt anymore on Sundays? Will he grow out his nappy hair again? BOILER UP!!!!!!! Copyright Manimal 2008
9. Will Kostka invite even more people to sit at our tables so the true Bears fans who are sitting all tight together like we are in a f&cking box truck with a bunch of stinky sweaty bean eating illegal aliens (Tom) trying to sneak back into the states for a better living? I know run on but come on! Kotska hey next year by a shot after the opposing team scores…..ohhh are the games a social event, nope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10. Will O say something nice next year during the season? Nope, he is going to be doing shots Kotska buys for him.
11. Will Joe Mellady please where some teams colors?
12. Will Mullins be able to attend all games next year and not miss the most important game of the season? Tell the jerks who gave you the wrong part to stick it in there pee hole and sh*t it out!
13. Will Manimal be able to keep his love of the Bears separate from his hatred to Jill not doing my dishes as she cleans her?
14. Will Ky pick a team, Bears or Chicks?
15. Will Wild Bill put together another fantasty football team next year, that is so bad that his team name will be “cr#p!”
16. Will Coming Right at Ya make another road trip to Soldier’s Field for a fun weekend of booze and haze? We all need to take two days off after that one!
17. Can the Bears draft a 1^st round pick that will be part of the team in ’09?
18. Can I please get more loving next year and you know who you are? Dirty Movies……………..

Have a Happy and Safe New Year! Mike Tomczak you are a gentleman! Please remember he was the 1^st 18 that meant a lot to a city and to me.

My Year in Sports

Where to begin. 2008 was a disasterous year in sports for me. The pain and suffering continued in the well we call Cubdom. Our Cubs won 97 games and easily won the Central Division and secured the best record in the National League. The team gave us so many reasons to believe.

They suffered injuries throughout the year to Soriano, Zambrano and Ramirez and perservered throughout. They won games like a game against Colorado where they were down 9-0, they swept the Brewers in a pivotal 4-game series on the road and even managed to get no-hitter for the first time in my lifetime by Big Z.

My friends and I celebrated the division title with a bottle of Dom and made sure we were all free for a few weeks in October so we could watch our lives as fans change. But it was over real quick (like a scooter ride). I knew it was over after two games, but I don't feel smarter because of it.

They walked batters, made fielding errors and choked at the plate in a 3-game drubbing to the LA Dodgers, a flawed team that won a very poor division. Yet somehow they traded for Manny Ramirez who had quit on Boston and he came to LA and tripped over himself enough to hit what felt like 10 homeruns in 3 games. I've yet to really talk about it since. My friends have been talking over the hot stove and I can't manage to get a word out. The pain continues. It's a new year but I am not optimistic.

Our GM is now tinkering with a 97-win team by acquiring some guy named Gathright and Aaron Miles. He traded away our second baseman, Mark DeRosa and kicked our closer and longest tenured Cub Kerry Wood out the door. We've been trying to get Jake Peavy and do it already if you're gonna. And big fucking deal if we get Jake Peavy, pitching wasn't the problem last season. Of course until Dempster threw his airballs in Game 1.

Look at Peavy's postseason record in 2 starts. He is 0-2 with a 12.10 ERA in 9 2/3 innings. He's given up 13 runs on 19 hits. And yes those runs were earned. So let's not act like he's the savior. He's as unproven in the playoffs as anyone. As you can tell I'm bitter and unimpressed with the offseason so far.

The Bears
As if the Cubs weren't enough pain, the Bears had to blow a shot at the playoffs by losing to Houston in the last game of the season. But I tell you what, Houston was a better team than the Bears and a bad matchup. The Bears finished 9-7 and many will tell you it could've been better. Hell we had Carolina, Tampa and Atlanta all beat. Let's look at that.

The Bears had Carolina down 17-3, but were then dominated over the last 23 minutes of the game and lost 20-17 so scratch that one. The Tampa game while inexcusable, was a mystery to me when you see that Brian Griese threw 67 times, but was never sacked. And the Atlanta game. We didn't deserve it anyway. Jason Elam missed a 33 yard FG indoors that would've put us down 9 with a few minutes left. Then Orton led us on the TD drive. Yes you make your luck, but still. That loss is canceled out by the crappy win over Green Bay. Plus the Bears beat the Lions twice and the lowly Rams. So you know what, the Bears were mediocre. But nonetheless they overachieved at 9-7. The playoffs would've been nice, but just another reason for me to have another hungover Monday at work.

The rest

Most of my other teams sucked too. West Virginia gave it a nice run in the NCAA tourney before losing and then Michigan came along and stole another WVU coach after that. As for the Wolverines, they were god awful under Rich Rodriguez. The UM offense literally defined the phrase "a monkey fucking a football" (see right). In fact so did the defense. In the end they blew ass, got rolled by Ohio State and I barely watched. In fact I thought college football sucked for the most part this year. The BCS is a mess and I'm tired of Tim Tebow.

My beloved Lakers lost in the NBA Finals to the Celtics of all people. The teams appear headed for a rematch in 2009. Yes I know LeBron you're ready. At least for me, I was enjoying a Pearl Jam concert the night the Lakers were rolled in Game 6 and didn't have to hear Kevin Garnett yell "I'm going to Disney World!" Although that was funny and Rome plays it all the time.

Lastly, Ball State thrilled at times going 12-0. They punched IU in the mouth and then won a nice one at Central Michigan. But then even this season went south as the Cardinals fumbled away the MAC title to fucking Buffalo. Then, Coach Hoke left for more money. And now we play Tulsa in a marginal bowl game on January 6.

Summary
You mean nothing to me 2008 sports season. Hell I hated my sports teams so much in '08 that I was distracted enough to get engaged. Ok that one will probably get me in trouble. Love you Mel!!

So let's gear up for a new year in sports! I mean with this kind of optimism, good things are sure to happen. Cheers!

Thought of the Week for week 15

Recently I have been by myself in thought and i was thinking of a couple of things that I thought I would share with you all.

One, I had a nice laid back Saturday evening with a buddy when we started talking about fictional characters. I thought how nice it would be to be a tv/movie character. Who would you be or who would you like to talk to? I myself have many characters in movies and tv that I would like to hang with but there is one that comes to mind. His name is Dr. Frasier Crane, yes the good old fashion radio therapist. Dr. Crane is a genuine character who looks for the best in people and in life. I would like to spend an evening with him getting drunk and have him analyze me. I mean drunk, a good old sh*tface night with him talking about the Bears, shots, and why Lilith is such a hot sexy b*tch. That would be awesome. Yes I know he is fictional but one of my friends believes he is real. His name is Bill.

Bill have you ever watched Cheers or Frasier? Come on man, he is a drunk therapist that hangs with drunk buddies at a bar and then moved to Seattle to hang with his metrosexual brother. I know tv reality is cool that is why i wanted to share that with you all. Next time think about that and ask your self the question: Who would I drink a beer with that's on TV/Movies?

Two, that same weekend i went to a nice dinner. Afterwards i had to use the bathroom while in there i let one go. Yes a gigantic fart that felt great to release. I don't think anybody was around in the stall or anything but who cares. I need to release one and boy did I. Afterward while I was washing my hands i thought you know what that was an expensive fart. Dinner, Drinks, Dessert, all that food was expensive and i just had an expensive fart. That was no chili fart, which is awesome in its own way but a good old fashion hundred dollar fart. You ever think about that? Well now you can.

Bears and Saints what a game. Finally a good game on Thursday night. Yes I will be there because I am on vacation and I am going to get ripped, drop a fart in the bathroom and go home and give Frasier Crane a call.

Godspeed! Manimal sign off!


Need more Bears coverage?
David Haugh's Trib column (Dec. 11)
Brad Biggs Blog (Sun-Times)
Bears Notes (Sun-Times)